As Fall is (slowly) coming and another season of baseball is behind us, I find myself expecting the ever so familiar sense of fear to creep up. It happens every off-season no matter how hard I try to stop it. I start to worry about insurance (since T will be a free agent after the World Series), a job next season, where we'll live, if T will like the team, etc. This year there's even more to worry about with Cali added to the mix.
But I don't feel the fear. This morning God tapped my shoulder and reminded me to "Be still and know that I am God". It's an odd feeling expecting the worry to come but not being able to find it anywhere. I'm not saying that I don't get a sense of it every now and then, but it's not taking root in my heart and mind like it has every other off-season.
Having Cali, I expected the fear and worry to multiply. But maybe it's because of her that it's lessoned this time around. Maybe it's because when I hold my child, I feel just how much I love her. I have an all-encompassing love that I've never been able to know before and I see how I've vowed to always provide for her. Knowing this, and knowing that God's love and abilities to provide are so. much. bigger than mine; maybe that's why I'm not as worried this time around. Because I've gotten just the teensiest sense of how much He loves us.
So here's to another off-season while sitting back and letting God take control of the moments that come my way.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?
So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
-Matthew 6:25-34
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