50 Things I Want to Teach My Daughter

1. Dumbing yourself down isn't cute. Embrace knowledge.
2. Respect your body. You can't ask someone else to if you don't.
3. Modest is hottest. 
4. Be brave. Try new things and don't be afraid to fail.
5. No matter what you do or where you go, your dad and I will always be here.
6. Despite what the world tells you, a kiss is special. Save it for someone who believes that too.
7. Don't tell someone that you love them until you're 100% sure you know what that means. Love is forever.
8. Always admit when you're wrong. We learn from our mistakes.
9. It's OK to have regrets. We learn from those too. 
10. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
11. Be quick to give a smile. It could brighten someone's day.
12. Always forgive. Nothing is unforgivable.
13. Read lots and lots of books. Both for learning and for pleasure.
14. Take school seriously. There will come a day when you'll wish you'd worked harder.
15. Don't do things just because others are doing them. Be bold enough to go against the flow.
16. Figure out why you believe what you say you believe in. Be ready to defend it to anyone that asks.
17. Feelings are OK but they're also not a solid foundation for our choices. Use both your knowledge of right and wrong and your gut to determine your course of action.
18. Never speak out of anger. Once something is said, it can't be unsaid.
19. You have no idea what others are going through. Be kind.
20. If your friends make fun of you for standing for what you believe is right, they're not your friends.
21. Don't ever make a life decision based on a boy. 
22. Also, don't let your emotions be determined by the relationship you're in. Find your joy in the fact that you're a child of God.
23. We can't control what others do or say but we can control our own actions. 
24. Love everyone without expecting anything in return.
25. Always say thank you to those that extend help.
26. Work hard and do everything to the best of your ability. As long as you give it your all, I'll be proud no matter what the outcome.
27. Material things will come and go but happiness in life is your decision.
28. No one is beneath you. Be humble.
29. You're going to make mistakes; that's expected. Forgive yourself and move on.
30. Find things that you enjoy doing and spend a lot of time doing them.
31. When you are greeting someone, look them in the eye and give a firm handshake.
32. Don't use your body and/or your looks to get attention. If someone doesn't like you without those things, they're not worth your time.
33. It's OK if we don't see eye to eye. You don't have to be just like me.
34. If someone points out a personality flaw in you, take a moment to step back and see if they're right. If they are, work hard to change it. If they're not, move on.
35. Sometimes we have to do things in life that we don't want to do. Get over it.
36. Be independent but don't be afraid to show your weaknesses. There is power and freedom in being honest and real.
37. Good friends are hard to come by. When you find them, make time to keep them in your life.
38. Don't live life out of fear. Make bold decisions and be confident enough to go higher. If you fall, it's OK. You'll always have a place to come back to.
39. Think about the consequences of your actions before you make them. Don't make dumb decisions for instant gratification.
40. "A wise man learns from his mistakes. An even wiser man learns from the mistakes of others."
41. You are capable of doing hard things. The reward is worth the effort.
42. You are beautiful. 
43. Find pleasure in the little things.
44. Develop the ability to laugh at yourself.
45. Everyone in life has different abilities and talents. "Don't compare your outtakes to someone else's highlight reel"
46. Don't stress. God will come through for you.
47. Enjoy the outdoors. Nothing is more beautiful than God's handiwork.
48. Guard your heart. There will come a day when a worthy man (that has been pre-approved by your father and me!) will ask for your hand in marriage. You'll want to be able to give him all of your heart and not just what's left of it.
49. God has been gracious enough to give you an earthly body. Take care of it with discipline and self-control. Be respectful of the gift He's given you.
50. Accept God's grace. We'll never earn it, live up to it, deserve it, or be able to repay it. That's OK. Love Him with your entire being and accept the gift of Jesus.

A Letter to My Daughter on Beauty

Dear Cali,

You don't know it yet but your dad and I tell you that you're beautiful every day. And we believe it. We think you're the most beautiful baby God has ever created. But it wouldn't matter what you looked like, really, your dad and I would still think that because you're ours. But as cliche as it sounds, beauty is only skin deep and it's not the be all end all.

Now I'm not going to sit here and pretend that you will never have to struggle with not liking part of yourself. I'm female and I've been a teenage girl before. I know what it's like to look in the mirror and hate what you see; to never be satisfied with how you look. I know how it feels to be on a merry-go-round of over indulgence and guilt. I'd be naive to think that you'll never deal with any of those issues on some level.

I can hope and pray but I know better.

I would love to sit here and say "Don't worry about what you look like on the outside. Be a good person and it'll all be OK". But that's not how the world works is it? People are cruel and people are mean spirited. No matter how beautiful you are or what you look like on the outside, small-minded people will always find a way to bring you down. It's what they do and it has nothing to do with you. People that don't love themselves can't show love to anyone else.

Now that... that is what I want you to learn. How to love yourself.

People in the world have different standards of beauty and you can't be everything for everyone. Society and social media will give you one version, your dad and I will give you another, your friends will have yet another idea of what beauty looks like, and you'll even have your own standards. There are all different variations of people. You have tall and thin, short and stocky, short and thin, tall and thick, medium and medium, etc. No two people are made the same and that's what beauty is. The world is a beautiful place because of diversity. All of us together, our differences, make up beauty. Accept the fact that you'll never be anything other than what God made you, and you will have come a lot further than most.

It's true that I want you to be OK with how you look. No matter what we wish the world was like, it's not a nice place sometimes and to get through it you need to be confident in yourself. I want you to find the parts of your outward appearance that you like and focus on those; forget the rest that you can't change.

But more than that, I want you to be good. You'll hear the phrase "It's what is on the inside that counts" so much that you'll forget to actually listen to it. It has become a cliche for a reason and that reason is that it's true.

Yes. Outward beauty makes the world a little easier. I'll concede to that fact. But you could be the most beautiful person in the world (which I happen to think you are but I'm your mom so I guess I don't count) but if you treat people with hatred or unkindness, people won't stick around very long. So I'll say this to you again...

Be good.

Be accepting of people that aren't just like you. This includes not only how they look but how they think and their beliefs. Stand firm in yours but allow love to pour out to them even if their views don't line up with yours.

Be kind to everyone. Even the people that aren't kind to you. You can't control how anyone else acts or reacts but you can control yourself. So, be kind without expecting kindness in return.

Be generous. You can never give too much; whether it's a helping hand, money, clothes, time, or just a smile. Be generous with the things that you've been blessed with.

Be forgiving. We are forgiven so who are we to withhold that from anyone? Forgive. Always.

Be patient. People and circumstances will not always go your way. Be patient with them and understanding of others' situations. Everyone has a story and you don't know what makes them the way they are.

Be humble. Humility is a fine line. Learn it.

Be honest. Truth and honesty make you a trustworthy person. That's more valuable than a lot of people believe. To be trusted is one of the greatest rewards in life.

Be selfless. Always put other peoples' feelings ahead of your own. The world will tell you differently; don't listen.

And be loving. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. It makes the world go 'round.

And these things, Cali... These things are true beauty.

Love,
Mom