Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Journey to Us - Final Chapter

Read the first 4 parts of our love story here.


I mentioned I wasn't exactly in a trusting place in life. I really thought I would never trust someone enough to spend my life with them, much less a professional athlete. My first "real date" with T changed all of that...

He had an off day and the night before happened to be a midnight premier of the new Harry Potter movie. I realized I was letting my geek hang out but suggested it to him anyways. At dinner before the movie was the conversation that allowed me to realize I had a shot at trusting this crazy guy.

I won't go into detail because - to be quite honest - I didn't even want to know most of it. But he laid it all out on the table for me. Where he had been in past relationships, where he was currently in life, and what he wanted out of his future. He went into way too much detail (which I will come to realize is just part of his no-filtered personality) and showed me all of his cards. It was a refreshing change of course from the guys I had been going out with that were feeding me a bunch of bull honkey they thought I would want to hear. T knew I wouldn't like some of what he had to say but he shot it to me straight. 

It was exactly what I needed.

Over the next 2 years, as I got to know more about and spend more time with T, my feelings only got stronger. I had never found someone who I felt so right with. I hated the sport of baseball but thoroughly enjoyed watching him play. He is hard working, intelligent, thoughtful, and everything he does is geared towards making the most of the incredible talent that God has given him. I watched him speak to school kids, FCA's, and individuals on using the gifts God has given us. I saw such an incredible heart for others and a true gift of leadership. 

He had every quality in a husband and father that I wanted.

Getting to know T changed my entire definition of the word "love". I had said it before but until he came along I never really knew what it meant. 

Love is a choice. It's a decision to put someone ahead of yourself. It is patient, kind, selfless, it doesn't put one's accomplishments above another's, or brag. Love is humble, and never rude, crude, or indecent. It isn't easily upset, or keep a scoreboard of wrongs, and is truthful. Love puts up with anything and everything that comes along with it. It trusts, hopes, and endures no matter what.

Sounds familiar?

Funny how I had the answers of what to look for in love right in front of me my entire life. It's funny how I spent so long questioning whether God existed and yet when I wanted to change, He graciously - and LOVINGLY - accepted me back. He then handed me a gift in T. God opened up an entire section of my heart that I never knew existed and allowed me the great love of my life. 

I don't deserve T (he will dispute that but I'm here to tell you it's true). I consider him my personal gift from a very merciful God. We're going to celebrate our 4 year anniversary this year, so we're still newlyweds, and we recently welcomed our 2nd daughter (our first is a schipperke mut that we got from the pound), and I couldn't imagine my heart being filled with more love than it is today. When I've had long days, sleepless nights, or outside stressors, he's still my deep breath that calms me. He always encourages me in any endeavor I may want to embark on and cheers me on every step of the way. He pushes me to consistently be the best version of myself and to never settle for less than I am capable of. He supports and believes in my desire to be a stay at home mother and makes sure to let me know that I have the hard job (I really don't but I let him think I do). 

One of my favorite quotes on love comes from the book "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller...

"I will give you this, my love, and I will not bargain or barter any longer. I will love you, as sure as He has loved me. I will discover what I can discover and though you remain a mystery, save God's own knowledge, what I disclose of you I will keep in the warmest chamber of my heart, the very chamber where God has stowed Himself in me. And I will do this to my death, and to death it may bring me.
I will love you like God, because of God, mighted by the power of God. I will stop expecting your love, demanding you love, trading for your love, gaming for your love. I will simply love. I am giving myself to you, and tomorrow I will do it again. I suppose the clock itself will wear thin its time before I am ended at this altar of dying and dying again.
God risked Himself on me. I will risk myself on you. And together, we will learn to love, and perhaps then, and only then, understand this gravity that drew Him, unto us.” 

I am so very grateful, humbled, and blessed to have a husband and best friend that is the earthly example of Christ's love for the church. I look forward to the many days, years, and seconds, that God has in store for our future.

To my dearest friend and lifelong partner, T...

I love you.

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