5 Things Nobody Told Me About Breastfeeding

Before I begin, I want to make it clear that I am 1 person, with 1 baby, and I've nursed all of...You guessed it. 1 child. I am not a nurse, a La Leche League consultant, or a professional by any stretch of the imagination. I can only share with you my personal experience and what I learned through consulting with my pediatrician, breastfeeding specialists, and independent research.

Now that I have that disclaimer out of the way, let's start.

I hope that all of you had a wonderful lactation consultant at your hospital to help you when you first start(ed) breastfeeding. I didn't. My "lactation consultant" was a nurse that popped her head in the door right before I was discharged from the hospital and said something to the effect of "You want to make sure she latches on correctly and wash your breasts often".

Well OK, then.

After months of fumbling around in the dark and a little trial and error, here are things that nobody ever told me before (or after, for that matter) I started nursing Cali.

1. It's not actually supposed to hurt. I say this with trepidation because it is going to be uncomfortable and you'll probably be sore because your breasts (more than likely) have never seen that much action. But I had searing pain for 3 solid months and everyone kept telling me that it was normal. I finally got my butt in gear and spoke with a La Leche League consultant that informed me that it actually wasn't normal. Thank you. I wasn't crazy. Our problem ended up being Cali's latch. She wasn't getting enough of my boob in her mouth and it ended up causing us some very painful problems. As soon as we fixed that, the pain was completely gone within a couple of days. If you've had pain for more than a couple of weeks, it wouldn't hurt to seek out help.

2. Speaking of latch, it's uber important. A bad latch can cause a ton of problems. 2 of them being pain for the mother, and poor milk consumption for the baby. It would take Cali up to an hour to nurse in the beginning and I was also told that was normal. It wasn't. Newborns will nurse for longer periods of time because they're learning too. But if your baby is nursing for an hour and still hungry, you might have a bad latch.

3. It might not actually help you lose all of the weight. This is really still up for debate but from what I've gathered, it varies from woman to woman. What is proven is that your body produces a hormone called prolactin while you breastfeed and this slows down your fat metabolism. But don't worry. Most women report losing the last few pounds shortly after their baby weans. Even though weight loss is a debatable side effect of breastfeeding, there's still a ton of other benefits. 

4. It was the most difficult adjustment of having a newborn. People will warn you about the sleepless nights and possibility of colic but nobody ever told me that breastfeeding would be such a huge adjustment. For me, it was the timing of everything. It seemed like as soon as I fed Cali, changed her diaper, got myself ready, and headed out the door, she was either A) ready to go back to sleep or B) ready to eat again. It definitely took a couple of weeks to get a rhythm down.

5. What you eat can effect your baby. When Cali was 2 weeks old, she started crying uncontrollably at random times (mostly at night). My pediatrician told me she probably had colic and that I had to wait it out and that most babies outgrew it within 3 months. After some independent research, I figured it wouldn't hurt to try and eliminate dairy since it's the most common food allergy of babies.  After about a week of eliminating all (even traces of) milk/dairy from my diet, Cali's symptoms disappeared. She was a different baby. Then around 6 weeks old, we noticed blood in her stool. Our pediatrician said it was probably a fissure (DON'T GOOGLE THAT) and it would go away within 2-5 days. After a traumatizing moment (that I'll spare you the details of), and our first ER visit, we spoke with a GI doctor that suggested taking out all gluten, eggs, and soy (along with the dairy I was already avoiding). 2 weeks after I did this (by the way, soy is in everything),  we had no more issues of blood. I'm not saying that your baby doesn't have colic but if they're crying and you feel helpless, it's an easy fix if that's the problem. 

So there you go. I hope that your breastfeeding experience is all rainbows and unicorns but if it's not, it's OK. With a little research and patience, it's probably fixable. And if all else fails and you feel like it's best for you and your baby that you switch to formula, that's OK TOO. Do you need me to repeat that? IT'S OK. You tried and that's all anyone can ask.

Do you have any other surprising facts about your breastfeeding experience? Share them in the comments!

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The Poor Man's Guide to Baby

If you're a regular reader here, you know that T plays minor league baseball and we move around. 

A lot.

We've lived in 11 different cities in 4 years and we've moved AT LEAST twice that amount. Without spending time to count, I'd guess that we've packed up our car and moved 30 times in 4 years. If I'm not exactly right, I'm really darn close.

So when we found out that we were having a baby, I knew that we needed to stick to the essentials for two reasons: A) We only travel with the things we can fit in our car and B) I knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom for now and so we'd need to clamp down on our budget.

I thought I'd share with you some of the (affordable) baby items that I deemed absolutely necessary. To pass this test, it had to meet 4 requirements:

1) It had to fit within a smaller budget

2) It had to be something I used on a daily basis

3) It had to make my life a lot easier OR

4) Benefit Cali - in either development or health

What I've learned through this experience is that there is a huge difference between needs and wants. There are a lot of baby items that people will tell you that you "need" when really, you don't. Trust me. The fact that I didn't have a rocking chair drove some people crazy (I'm looking at you, Mom). Sure, if your budget (and space) allows it, go all out. You only have your first baby once so if you are able to get everything you could ever possibly want, by all means do it.

I'm just here to help those of you who are looking for the bare necessities. I've put the average price in parenthesis next to the name so you can get a quick idea of how much it'll cost you. So whether you have a small budget, a small space, or both, hopefully this list will help. 

One thing I would suggest if you're on a tight budget is to ask around to people you know that might have baby items they're willing to give away or sell for cheap. Just make sure if it's a crib or car seat that it meets the current safety standards and hasn't expired. Also, for things like baby carriers and clothes, check out Ebay or Craigslist. You'd be surprised how much money can be saved by buying things gently used!

Dr. Bronner's Castile Soap Baby-Mild ($15)

You can use this stuff for anything. Dilute it with water for baby body wash, shampoo, clothes detergent, or to wash your bottles. The initial price is a bit of a shock but the bottle is huge and it lasts forever. I'm only half way through the bottle I bought when Cali was born and like I said, I use it for everything.

Gerber 5 pack Onesies ($10)

No joke, Cali wears these almost every day. They come in different designs but I just bought the plain white and let my cousin tie-dye them. They match everything and I happen to love tie-dye.

Baby K'Tan ($35)

I have sung the praises of the K'Tan before but it never hurts to do it again. WE. LOVE THIS. I could've never gone grocery shopping, cooked, or gotten much of anything done had it not been for this carrier. I knew I didn't want to lug an awkward carseat around everywhere and this freed up my hands. Plus, you can use it up into todderhood (is that a word?). Cali still loves this.

Bouncy Seat ($40+)

These can actually range from $25-$200 but Cali managed perfectly fine in her basic one. I probably would've never showered had we not had this, especially with T being gone on road trips all of the time. I also took it outside so we could enjoy some picnics together and this gave her a non-grassy place to sit.

Car Seat ($40+)

This and a crib mattress were the two things that T and I decided we didn't want to skimp on. I consider myself a carseat freak so it was something that I deemed worthy of spending money on but if your budget is super tight, you can get a carseat for as low as $45. All carseats that are sold in stores have passed inspection and are safe for your baby to ride in. However if you have some wiggle room in this area, I'd suggest the Peg Perego Primo Viaggio (pictured). We absolutely love this carseat and it got the highest safety rating possible by Consumer Report.

Crib ($150+)

I would suggest getting a convertible crib so that you can use it for years to come. This Graco convertible crib is super cute and only $150. 

Crib Mattress ($30+)

Again, this is something that T and I didn't want to go cheap on but this Dream on Me mattress is only $30! And you can use it once the crib transitions to a toddler bed as well. We have the Colgate Classica and have really been impressed with it.

Diapers ($15+)

I chose to go the cloth diaper route. For an initial investment of about $200 (I used gift cards I got at my baby shower) these can last you until you potty train your child. My favorite are FuzziBunz. They have adjustable legs so they fit tiny newborns well. But if you're not the cloth diapering kind, a cheap disposable are Luvs. When we're traveling we use these and we've never had any problems. 

Touch Thermometer ($20)

You'll probably want a good thermometer. You can get them for much cheaper than $20 but a touch thermometer will make your life easier.

Activity Mat ($20+)

You can really spend as much or as little on this as you want. I (personally) wouldn't suggest spending too much because they outgrow it very quickly but I wanted Cali to have something to look at during tummy time. She enjoyed looking at the toys hanging over her head or the colors on the mat. If you're crafty, you can even make one like the one pictured that I'm slightly obsessed with. Here's the tutorial.

Total: $375

So there you have it. These are the things that I would consider the bare minimum basics. Sure you can have a changing table, rocking chair, etc. but I managed just fine without them. To be fair, I didn't have a nursery because, well, we didn't really have a home but it just proves that it is possible to have a baby and not spend a ton of money if you don't have it. 

Also, this doesn't include things like bottles and formula if you can't or don't want to breastfeed. You can get bottles for cheap (like this 12 pack for $10) and formula will be a monthly expense but I would think you'd want at least a month's worth stored up, so that will run you more. I really don't know anything about formula like how much it is or how long it lasts but if you do, leave your tip in the comments!

Also, if you're expecting a baby, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

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9 Things Every Marriage Needs

I know, I know.

"Not another marriage post" is what you're thinking, right? We've all read those lists that consist of trust, honesty, communication, blah, blah, blah.

Not that those things aren't important. They definitely are. But there are other things that I believe keep a marriage chugging along just as much. Granted, some of these are a little unconventional and not everyone is going to agree with me, but here are 9 things that I feel like every marriage needs.

1. Humor - At least one person in the marriage has to be funny. It's a requirement. Ask any of our friends and they'll tell you that my humor is the reason T and I work so well together. If I didn't crack jokes all the time, T and I wouldn't have lasted the 6 years that we have. So if both of you are fuddy-duds, take one for the team and get a sense of humor. It really comes in handy during disagreements. There've been too many times that I'm trying to get frustrated with T but then I start laughing about something that HE said and forget that I wanted to be frustrated. (FYI: T added the emphasized "HE" because he doesn't like to admit that I'm the funny one.)

2. Time Apart - I get that you like each other and that's (hopefully) one of the reasons you got married. You guys may even be just alike when it comes to your interests. But I'm a firm believer in spending some time apart. Hold your horses and don't jump the gun. I'm not talking about living separately or going to clubs 6 nights of the week by yourself. If those are your choices, don't use this post as an excuse for them. I'm simply saying that it helps to spend quality girl time with your friends every now and then. Even alone time works. T can always tell when I need "Whitney Time" when my fuse starts to run short. That's when he knows to get out of the house for a while and let me breathe. This is especially helpful for me during baseball season. I go crazy if my life revolves around his life (which is always. baseball.) so I always try to find things of my own to get involved in.

3. A Reset Button - T and I will occasionally call 'time out' and hit the reset button if we're in a rut. This means that we have to instantly forget whatever grievances each of us have against the other and start new.  After you hit the button you're not allowed to bring those things up again. We don't use it all the time because there are some legitimate issues that need to be worked out, but when we notice ourselves bringing up the same (pointless) topic again, and again, and again, and again, we hit the button. There is a very good chance that T will always (for the rest of our entire lives) have a "wear again" clothes pile that is really just dirty clothes that never make it to the hamper. No matter how many times I nag nicely ask him to pick up the clothes, they're still there. I eventually had to throw this fight out the window and leave it be. I lose. 

4. Make Out Sessions - When was the last time you played "7 Minutes in Heaven"? Not recently. Well, go do it. Now. Go on. WAIT! Finish reading this post first then go do it. You're welcome.

5. A Favorite TV Show - Or board game, card game, activity, whatever. Something that you both enjoy doing together on a regular basis. T and I used to enjoy working out together, and while we would still like that, Cali makes it a little more difficult. So we've adjusted and now when T and I are home at the same time and baby is in bed, I'll (most of the time) turn off "Teen Mom" and let him watch "The Bachelor" instead. ;)

6. Date Nights - These don't have to be fancy shmancy or expensive dates. In fact, I wrote about a lot of (mostly) free things to do in this post. T and I call these our "mini-dates". Most of the time we don't even leave the house. The purpose is just to get rid of all distractions and focus completely on each other and good conversation. This is when you recharge as a couple and (hopefully) remember why you fell in love in the first place. This is different from the activity that you enjoy together because during that, you're focusing your attention on the activity. During the date, all of your attention should be focused on them.

7. Grooming - No, I'm not talking about grooming your marriage - though that's not a bad idea. I'm talking about grooming yourself. Don't go sending me hate mail. I know that all of us are busy and once you're married they're pretty much stuck with you supposed to love you no matter what you look like but I'm here to tell you that a little grooming goes a long way. Ladies: Get your roots done, shave your legs, paint your nails, etc. Guys: Keep your hair trimmed, throw on some cologne, change out of your sweatpants every now and then. You get the picture. Chances are when you met your spouse you had done at least a couple, if not all, of these things. I'm just trying to help you keep the flame alive, folks.

8. Secrets - This is pretty much the opposite of what every marriage counselor in the world will tell you but I'm not talking about real, harmful, secrets. I'm just talking about the old saying "leave something to the imagination". Our husbands miiiiggghht not need to see us wax our chin hairs or dig out our ingrowns. And husbands, we don't need to hear you passing loud gas all of the time or cleaning food out of your teeth on a daily basis. Sure, these things are going to come up now and again and we can't avoid letting them see our private moments forever, but maybe we don't need to make a daily habit of it?

9. PDA - I'm not talking about sticking your hands in each other's back pockets while you walk around the mall (though if you choose to do that you'll get no judgement here) but a little hand holding or a quick hug every now and then is nice. Private intimacy is crucial in a marriage but a little public affection goes a long way

What do you think? What unique qualities do you think are important to marriage?

Tips and Tricks for New Moms

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Look. One of the things I disliked the most about becoming a mom was all of the unsolicited advice that people now feel entitled to share. And they're pushy about it! If they do it that way then obviously you should too. So, I'm not going to do that. I'm simply going to share with you some tricks and shortcuts that I've learned in the 8.5 short months that I have been a mom. Some I've learned on my own and some of them others have shared with me. I'll pass them along in hopes that they make your life easier. If not, feel free to ignore them.

If you're nursing, those first few weeks can be brutal. A good tip that I read in a book (I don't remember which one) was to wash off your boobs with warm, soapy water after every time you feed your baby. It gets all of the milk off and helps keep thrush away. I also put coconut oil on after I washed them. It has antibiotic properties and can help with the thrush as well. Both of these things helped keep Cali and I from having to deal with it.

Don't worry about sleep/schedule for first 6 weeks. A lot of people may disagree with me but in my experience, those first few weeks should be all about cuddling and getting to know your new baby, not about stressing over anything. Let them sleep on your chest if you like and feed them on demand. After 6 weeks is up, then you can start to slowly introduce a plan. Again, not everyone will agree with me but it's just my opinion.

The Top Knot

For all of the sleep that you'll miss, embrace the top knot. Now, I'm not one to give fashion advice but I did learn that a cute top knot can make it look like you put some thought into how you look (which you probably didn't).

In case of middle of the night blowouts, which you will probably have at least once, try layering mattress covers and sheets. Buy a few flat mattress covers and start with one directly on the mattress. Then put a fitted sheet on top with another cover and sheet on top of that. That way, when you're tired and need a quick sheet change, you can strip off a cover and the soiled sheet and, voila!, clean sheet is already underneath.

Always keep an emergency diaper bag in the back of your car. If you're not as scatter brained as I am then this might not be as important but it's saved me a few times. I inevitably end up walking out of the house without wipes or an extra diaper (or extra clothes for baby or me) and having an extra set of everything in the trunk has helped a time or two.

Keep healthy, fast foods on hand at all time. You won't have as much time to fix yourself something to eat when there's a tiny human next to you all of the time. Whether it's boiling eggs, keeping pre-cook meats, or cooking some crock pot oatmeal to keep on hand, make sure there's alway something filling for those hectic moments when you need food but don't have time to cook anything.

Have some disposable plastic bags that you keep with you. You won't always be near a trashcan when you have a diaper to change and having a bag to seal up the stink in is nice.

Fancy shirt

Embrace the fancy t-shirts. They're easy to nurse in, cheap, and replaceable for when they're stained with spit-up.

Put their medicine straight on your boob or paci if you're not nursing. Getting babies to take medicine can be a fight but if you put a few drops at a time on your boob before they eat, it makes it a little easier. You'll have to do it a few times to make sure they get the full dosage but it's still easier. Just make sure to wash off afterwards.

For those early morning appointments, have them sleep in their clothes with a sleep sack over it. That way, they're already 99% dressed and you (hopefully) can let them sleep a bit longer.

Speaking of appointments, I found that it helps to schedule them in the afternoon if at all possible. Also, if they're going to miss a nap or have a poor one, morning naps have more REM sleep and therefore they're more restorative. I'd rather have her miss her afternoon nap over a morning one.

Going back to the medicine, if you don't like the idea of putting them on your skin, try to refrigerate it. The cold seems to cover up some of the strong flavor and makes it more enjoyable for sensitive palates.

My favorite carrier

If you plan on flying, wear that baby! If you go through security with a stroller it is a pain in the butt. They make you take the baby out, run the stroller through, and it all takes forever. If you're wearing the baby in a carrier, all you have to do is let them swab your hand. That's it. They don't even make you walk through the line or take the baby out. It's easy peasy.

If you have or are having a newborn, you need to change their diaper every couple of hours - even at night - to keep their sensitive skin from getting diaper rash. It'll make life a little easier if you go ahead and have the diapers out, rubbed with rash cream, and stacked by your bed. That way, it's just a grab and go.

And my most important piece of advice yet… Ignore all unwanted advice. You know your baby and your family better than anyone else. If anyone (including me) gives you advice that you're not comfortable with or it doesn't feel right, ignore it. Pay attention to your instincts and not Google/strangers/etc.

I hope at least one of these helps at least one of you. 

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