On Adjusting to Two

 

 

I have officially been a mom of two kids for almost 2 months and boy, let me tell you, there's been a learning curve. Not to mention Tim is out of town for 2 months and we just moved to a new city. Needless to say, some days I struggle to just keep my sanity. Let's not even try for a "Pinteresty" kind of day.

 

Popcorn for lunch? Sure, kid.

TV alllll day? Oh yes. Why not?

PJs to the grocery store? Whatever you want, Cali.

I consider it a good day if I've managed to keep Cali from PICKING UP NASH.

 

I think the thing I've found to be the hardest (after trying to convince Cali to NOT PICK UP NASH) are the little things that I never really thought of. Like trying to put Cali to bed while taking care of Nash's needs. Or cooking dinner while making sure Cali DOESN'T PICK UP NASH (Do you see a common theme?). I'm learning quickly that sometimes I just have to go with the flow and do whatever gets the job done with the least amount of stress on all of us.

 

Like this. This is how I've been getting Cali to sleep every. single. night.

 

 

Ideal? Not even close.

 

Easy, to the point, and how it's getting done? You betcha.

 

Where I really struggle is making time for each of them individually. Even if it's just the little minutes of the day like putting Nash on the bed while I give Cali my full attention during bath  time.

 



Or not falling asleep when I put Cali to bed so I can snuggle on this guy alone for a few minutes.

 



 

And guys, let me tell you, there is such a HUGE amount of guilt when it comes to that for me. I really struggle sometimes with accepting the fact that it's not just me and Cali and our crazy adventures anymore. She doesn't (and can't) get my full attention 100% of the time anymore and it's something we're both learning how to deal with. But on the flip side of that, I also have a ton of guilt when it comes to not being able to give Nash the time and devotion that I gave Cali when she was a baby.

 

It's a back and forth that I'm daily learning to work around.

 

One thing that has been a LIFESAVER for me is baby-wearing. To have Nash strapped to my chest frees up both hands for chasing Crazy Cali around. And part of Cali adjusting to having to share my attention is wanting to do everything Nash does...

 

Like have me wear her again...

 

While I'm wearing him, of course.

 

Oy vey.

 

This child hasn't wanted me to wear her in over a year but one look at Nash in there and it's all "WEAR ME, MOMMA! I WANT ON YOU TOO!"

 

Now anybody that has followed me for a while knows I'm a big fan of the K'Tan. It carries the baby like a wrap but without having to tie it.

 

However, once Cali reached a certain size there wasn't enough support for my shoulders and it KILLS my neck and back to wear her.

 

Enter (drumroll please)

the Wrapy.

 

It's a wrap. You've seen them.

 

You can learn more at their website

www.wrapy.com

 

And you can see reviews of people that have used it here.

 

This one is so soft, y'all.

 

AND I can wear Cali without the stress on my body.

 

See?

 



 

It's hard to see because of the color of her dress but she's strapped on my back with the Wrapy.

 

And she loves it.

 

And I don't feel like I'm leaving her out of anything when I carry Nash.

 

AND, right now, I have discount codes to give you.

 

You're welcome.

 

When you subscribe to my blog before March 1, I'll send you a code to receive 15% off of your order!

 

Now, before you roll your eyes and dismiss everything I've said, let me be straightforward.

 

Yes. They sent me a free one to review.

 

But everything I've said here is my own opinion. Trust me, I've been sent things to review before that you've never seen on this blog. Why? Because I didn't like the product. So you can rest assured that I mean what I say.

 

On that note, both of my kids are magically asleep at the same time so I'm going to take advantage of it while it lasts. Probably for the next 10 minutes or so but hey, I take what I can get.

 

 

 

 

 

Seeing the Beauty in the Not-So-Beautiful

It was about 11:30p when T and I headed to bed. About 15 minutes later I was thisclose to falling asleep and I heard Cali start to cry.

Crap.

At this point I'm so tired I could cry. I don't because I'm not a crier but if I were, I would have joined her.

I had been up since about 6 o'clock that morning and hadn't had more than 2 hours of consecutive sleep in about a month. I don't know why she's not sleeping. Teething, possibly, but no matter what it is, I'm. so. tired.

So I get up to get her and sit down to nurse her. One problem. She doesn't want to nurse. She pops straight up and starts "talking" to us. She squirms around looking for T. She resists my attempts to pull her back down to nurse. 

She's told me what she wants. I just want to ignore it. But alas, I can't.

T and I carry her into the den so we can play and get some of her energy out.

How does she have any energy left?? That's what I want to know.

As I'm getting irritated (NOT at Cali. Just simply irritated from my lack of sleep), she starts to play. She's climbing on us, blowing raspberries at us, and laughing. I make a noise and she copies me. I start to whisper, she whispers. I blow raspberries, she blows them back. I kiss her cheek, she kisses mine back.

It hits me then...

There is beauty in this.

Her. My family. I'm so freaking blessed.

The day we brought Cali home from the hospital (AKA the scariest day of my life)

It was that moment that I realized I have to see the beauty in situations that I would normally deem "not-so-beautiful". Yes, I'm tired. Yes, I just wanted to sleep. Yes, my eyes were starting to cross. 

But I'm blessed (so very, very, very, blessed) to have a baby that is healthy enough to wake me up playing in the middle of the night.

Don't get me wrong. Being tired is NOT FUN. Exhaustion is a form of torture in the military. 

For realz.

And I get it. There are very few things in life that I dislike more than being woken up just as I'm falling asleep. Do it for too long and I start to go crazy. But there are also very few things in life that I enjoy more than waking up to my daughter's kisses and smiles. 

Her right leg wouldn't fit in this swaddle anymore.

It's a strange feeling - being so exhausted yet so content.

Yes, they tell you from the moment you announce that you're pregnant how tired you're going to be. That's one of the first things off of everyone's lips. 

"Well, stock up on sleep now because you won't get it for a while"

"Hope you don't like sleeping"

You can just never be prepared for how tired you'll be. Even if your kid's a rockstar sleeper (or so I've been told. I wouldn't know anything about this) there's always something that comes up every now and then; teething, growth spurts, learning a new skill. Then you go back in your memory and recall what everyone said. Yes. They were right. You are tired.

But eventually you just have to find the silver linings and remember how lucky you are to have such an amazing miracle. Especially when they're so darn cute.

So that's what T and I did last night. We laughed with her and enjoyed her company; all the while realizing that the day will come when she probably won't want anything to do with us. You know, when the day comes that we tell her she's not allowed to date until she's 20, or that she can't wear shorts that come above her knees. 

I kid.

But seriously, I'm blessed. I'm crazy in love. And I'm counting my blessings every chance I get. These past 10 months have gone by so ridiculously fast. I feel like we were just bringing her home from the hospital yesterday but instead she's somehow about to be a year old. I don't want to look back on this time and only remember how aggravated I was that she never slept. I want to remember these little moments and how she looks right now. I want to remember how much fun we had together and how incredibly grateful I am for the opportunity to be her mother.

So for now I'm embracing this chapter of our lives. Every kiss, every giggle, every snuggle, every hug, and yes... even the sleepless nights. Because not everyone gets to have what we have and I don't ever want to take it for granted.

10 Month Pictures! and a Sleep Update

So Cali turned 10 months old on the 28th. 

I guess I could sit here and talk about how time flies and I can't believe she's almost a year old and such but I won't. All of that is true but I've learned that no matter how many times I complain about it, nothing changes. Time still flies and I'm still left looking over newborn pictures that feel like yesterday and crying over the fact that my little baby isn't so little anymore and she has no time for trivial things like her mom.

So instead I've decided to accept the fact that time is a thief and try as hard as I can to live intently in the moment and soak up this time that I have.

I still don't like the fact that she has no time for me. She's busy. With important things. Like eating shoelaces.

Anyways, without further ado, here are her 10 month pictures.

She's adorable. I know.

Also, all of these were taken outside the batting cages where Cali and I are working while we're in Boston. That's the life of a nomad. You make do.

Now, let's talk sleep. I've talked about it before but I wanted to touch on it again.

Cali as a newborn was a rockstar sleeper. From early on, she would sleep from 10-8 every night waking only once. And then I did what no parent should ever do…

I bragged about it.

Yes. I was that parent.

"Oh, you're kid doesn't sleep? I'm so sorry (hear the sarcasm?). I really can't help you because my kid is an awesome sleeper. Let me just go paint my nails and get my hair done and shower because I'm so well rested."

Well ladies and gentlemen, Cali heard my challenge and raised the ante. 

It was the (now infamous) day of her 6 month shots that it all began. Since then we've gone through a million ups and downs but she hasn't slept through the night since then. About 2 months ago we sleep trained her with the Sleep Lady Shuffe and ever since then she goes down wide awake for naps and bedtime and puts herself to sleep.

Now, this is a huge improvement from what we were dealing with before that so for this, I am EXTREMELY grateful. No more nightmare of getting her to sleep. The issue now is that for the past month, she's been waking every 1-3 hours and refuses to go back to sleep until I nurse her. For the past week it's been every 45 minutes. We're all exhausted and I'm hoping it's just teething and a phase. 

*Fingers crossed*

I have no idea how we'll deal with it if it's not a phase. Right now we're just focusing on getting the job done in Boston then we'll cross the "sleep bridge" when we have time. Until then, coffee and I are BFFs.

Anyways, that's where we are. I hope everyone is having a good New Year so far!

Until next time.

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9 Things Every Marriage Needs

I know, I know.

"Not another marriage post" is what you're thinking, right? We've all read those lists that consist of trust, honesty, communication, blah, blah, blah.

Not that those things aren't important. They definitely are. But there are other things that I believe keep a marriage chugging along just as much. Granted, some of these are a little unconventional and not everyone is going to agree with me, but here are 9 things that I feel like every marriage needs.

1. Humor - At least one person in the marriage has to be funny. It's a requirement. Ask any of our friends and they'll tell you that my humor is the reason T and I work so well together. If I didn't crack jokes all the time, T and I wouldn't have lasted the 6 years that we have. So if both of you are fuddy-duds, take one for the team and get a sense of humor. It really comes in handy during disagreements. There've been too many times that I'm trying to get frustrated with T but then I start laughing about something that HE said and forget that I wanted to be frustrated. (FYI: T added the emphasized "HE" because he doesn't like to admit that I'm the funny one.)

2. Time Apart - I get that you like each other and that's (hopefully) one of the reasons you got married. You guys may even be just alike when it comes to your interests. But I'm a firm believer in spending some time apart. Hold your horses and don't jump the gun. I'm not talking about living separately or going to clubs 6 nights of the week by yourself. If those are your choices, don't use this post as an excuse for them. I'm simply saying that it helps to spend quality girl time with your friends every now and then. Even alone time works. T can always tell when I need "Whitney Time" when my fuse starts to run short. That's when he knows to get out of the house for a while and let me breathe. This is especially helpful for me during baseball season. I go crazy if my life revolves around his life (which is always. baseball.) so I always try to find things of my own to get involved in.

3. A Reset Button - T and I will occasionally call 'time out' and hit the reset button if we're in a rut. This means that we have to instantly forget whatever grievances each of us have against the other and start new.  After you hit the button you're not allowed to bring those things up again. We don't use it all the time because there are some legitimate issues that need to be worked out, but when we notice ourselves bringing up the same (pointless) topic again, and again, and again, and again, we hit the button. There is a very good chance that T will always (for the rest of our entire lives) have a "wear again" clothes pile that is really just dirty clothes that never make it to the hamper. No matter how many times I nag nicely ask him to pick up the clothes, they're still there. I eventually had to throw this fight out the window and leave it be. I lose. 

4. Make Out Sessions - When was the last time you played "7 Minutes in Heaven"? Not recently. Well, go do it. Now. Go on. WAIT! Finish reading this post first then go do it. You're welcome.

5. A Favorite TV Show - Or board game, card game, activity, whatever. Something that you both enjoy doing together on a regular basis. T and I used to enjoy working out together, and while we would still like that, Cali makes it a little more difficult. So we've adjusted and now when T and I are home at the same time and baby is in bed, I'll (most of the time) turn off "Teen Mom" and let him watch "The Bachelor" instead. ;)

6. Date Nights - These don't have to be fancy shmancy or expensive dates. In fact, I wrote about a lot of (mostly) free things to do in this post. T and I call these our "mini-dates". Most of the time we don't even leave the house. The purpose is just to get rid of all distractions and focus completely on each other and good conversation. This is when you recharge as a couple and (hopefully) remember why you fell in love in the first place. This is different from the activity that you enjoy together because during that, you're focusing your attention on the activity. During the date, all of your attention should be focused on them.

7. Grooming - No, I'm not talking about grooming your marriage - though that's not a bad idea. I'm talking about grooming yourself. Don't go sending me hate mail. I know that all of us are busy and once you're married they're pretty much stuck with you supposed to love you no matter what you look like but I'm here to tell you that a little grooming goes a long way. Ladies: Get your roots done, shave your legs, paint your nails, etc. Guys: Keep your hair trimmed, throw on some cologne, change out of your sweatpants every now and then. You get the picture. Chances are when you met your spouse you had done at least a couple, if not all, of these things. I'm just trying to help you keep the flame alive, folks.

8. Secrets - This is pretty much the opposite of what every marriage counselor in the world will tell you but I'm not talking about real, harmful, secrets. I'm just talking about the old saying "leave something to the imagination". Our husbands miiiiggghht not need to see us wax our chin hairs or dig out our ingrowns. And husbands, we don't need to hear you passing loud gas all of the time or cleaning food out of your teeth on a daily basis. Sure, these things are going to come up now and again and we can't avoid letting them see our private moments forever, but maybe we don't need to make a daily habit of it?

9. PDA - I'm not talking about sticking your hands in each other's back pockets while you walk around the mall (though if you choose to do that you'll get no judgement here) but a little hand holding or a quick hug every now and then is nice. Private intimacy is crucial in a marriage but a little public affection goes a long way

What do you think? What unique qualities do you think are important to marriage?

Destruction, Poop, & a Snow Day

Hi there!

Sorry I've been away. I'm working on a detailed post about some food substitutions I've found since all of Cali's GI issues. But I wanted to do a quick update post about happenings over the last week.

I strive to be as open and "real" on here as possible. I feel it's only fair to you to share it all. 

The good. The bad. And the poop.

It was T's turn to change a (what should've been) simple poop diaper. Not even a blowout. This is how that story ends…

He makes me smile.

It's rare that Cali sits still long enough for me to cuddle her but the other morning we actually sat like this for about 20 minutes and watched Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

Granted, I officially HATE that show but it makes Cali smile a lot so I suck it up.

She also let T cuddle with her for a bit too.

She really is growing too fast.

She's hit the "destruction stage" and this cabinet is her favorite in the apartment. She pulls out all of the pots and pans and sits inside. Any time I turn my head, she takes off for her spot.

This also happens when I turn my head.

Then she tries to eat it.

We had a snow day the other day and decided to lay around in our PJs all day.

I really do have a love/hate relationship with this place. When I can hole up inside and eat soup, I love the snow. It's so pretty!

Obviously, my idea of a lazy day and Cali's idea of a lazy day are drastically different. I tried to convince her to lay on the couch and not move but she wasn't having it.

Anyways, that's what we've been doing. I hope everyone is having a good new year!

Until next time.

Picture Update

Hi there!

I haven't uploaded many pictures of our life lately so I thought this was a great time!

She doesn't like to sit in the seat that came with the walker but when we take it out, she loves to climb up through the middle. 

On the other side of this "wall" are a bunch of wires. I used to have to constantly chase after her when she'd go crawling for them. Until now. I'm genius.

She's a gamer.

I don't know why but I simply love to watch her dig into her toy baskets all by herself.

This was a rare moment that she let me cuddle her. She's pretty independent.

I love, love, love, watching this man be a dad.

HAHA.

She found that last picture as funny as you did!

Our niece and nephew were here this past weekend and Cali loves them.

She was trying to escape.

It's scary how much she looks like T in this picture.

Her morning smiles. 

I hope everyone is having a happy holiday!